'Hatchet' - Old School American Horror? No Wai!

Hatchet (2006)

Director
Adam Green

Writer
Adam Green

Cast
Joel Moore, Tamara Feldman, Deon Richmond and Kane Hodder

The first time I heard of this film was the preview before Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. It was a shot of a bayou while a young girl told a creepy tale of Victor Crowley followed by some bloody, hatchet slashing goodness. Not showing much at all it really caught my interest especially dubbing itself as "Old School American Horror."

A couple of friends go to Mardi Gras and decide to go on a haunted boat ride. The boat crashes and now they are stranded next to the house of the hideously deformed legend Victor Crowley who kills on sight.

I'm not exactly sure what they mean by "old school" since this just seems like the same old thing. Perhaps it's the effects and the non-usage of CGI. The effects are very impressive and it leaves nothing to the imagination. As a gore-fest effects showcase it works very well. Everything else... not so much.

The story... what story? We get a boring orgin of Victor Crowley who's supposed to be the new Jason, Freddy or Michael but fails on about every level that those three succeeded. He pops out of nowhere, screams and destroys people with either his tools or his bare hands. All of the characters are pretty annoying so you're usually hoping they meet some sort of brutal fate which may have been intentional.

The film gets very redundant with Crowley killing someone, group of survivors scream and flee, they stop and think the situation over, Crowley pops up and takes out a couple more, group of survivors scream and flee, they stop and think the situation over again, Crowley pops up and... you get the idea.

The idea of calling it old school just because they are too cool for CGI bothers me. This, to me, proves that the film-makers know nothing of old school horror. Old school horror is atmosphere and frights not mindless gore-fests. It also feels pretty desperate that their tagline is "It's not a remake. It's not a sequel. And it's not based off of a Japanese one."

There may be some fun to be had from this type of film and it's pretty cheap for a new release at Wal-Mart (I blind-bought it for $9.96.) But just don't fall for the makers promises that this is the next great American horror classic.

4.0/10