'Terminator Salvation'

Terminator Salvation (2009)

Being a child of the 80's, I'm a die-hard fan of the Terminator franchise. The first two movies are great films I've grown up on and am very passionate about. I can't say enough to describe how great they are. The first movie is a tech-noir horror film, the second film is a big-budget, action blockbuster. Two completely almost completely different films that work incredibly well in their genres.

People usually crap all over Mostow's Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Sure, it wasn't a great or even memorable movie, but it had some fantastic action and a very shocking ending that made the experience worthwhile. It had many problems such as out-of-place humor and it was a rehash of Terminator 2, but it was fun to watch.



When I first heard of McG directing a new Terminator film, I face-palmed like the rest of the world. Then shocking news: Christian Bale is John Connor. Could the casting of Bale be a sign of good things to come? Perhaps this is the glimmer of hope we need. The more news that came out, the better this film seemed to get (at least to me.)

After some awesome trailers and some big-talk from McG, I was hyped. This was probably my most anticipated movie of the summer.

I have to admit, some of the opening scenes didn't win me over at all. First of all, I thought the score for the opening credits was rather bland when comparing it to The Terminator and Terminator 2. Secondly, the meeting between Marcus (Sam Worthington) and Serena (Helena Bonham Carter) was full of cheese. I'll give you my life for a kiss? That's what death tastes like? Give me a break.



Thankfully, after that, it got much better. We're introduced to John Connor as he discovers a lab in which Skynet is experimenting on human subjects. Inadvertently, this awakens Marcus Wright, a man who was executed via lethal injection 15 years earlier. To his surprise, the world is a charred mess. As he ventures the burnt landscape, he meets Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin, orignally played by Michael Biehn,) the teenage father of John Connor.

Connor tries desperately to find Kyle Reese before Skynet does. If they kill Reese, Connor ceases to exist. Meanwhile, his meeting with Marcus makes him doubt what he knew Skynet is capable of.

I had a lot of problems with this movie, but overall, I enjoyed it. Say what you will about McG, but this guy can direct action scenes. It was incredible to watch. Most notably, the chase scene involving Marcus, Reese, a giant "Harvester" and Terminator-cycles. It was very much a Road Warrior-worthy, mayhem-filled chase.



On the subject of Road Warrior, this film borrows a lot from other post-apocalyptic film which isn't such a bad thing until they start using the cliches. The worst comes in the form of a scene in which hard-ass female soldier Blair Williams (Moon Bloodgood) fights off a gang of rapists. Not even nukes or killer robots will keep the gang from Deliverance from wanting to bust a nut.

Anton Yelchin as Kyle Reese and Sam Worthing as Marcus Wright were the best performances of the film by far. Yelchin channeled a lot of Biehn's ferocity and innocence from the original film. Sam Worthington, who will be starring in Terminator creator James Cameron's new film Avatar, proves why he will be a huge star in the near future. He's got the looks and charisma and even stole the show from the other star, Batman himself, Christian Bale.



Oh, and Christian Bale...

He certainly growls a lot. He certainly didn't do a whole lot for me. I'm not sure if I can blame Bale or the director, but the Connor scene were tacked on for a reason. It's too bad, because it made the overall feel of the film disjointed.

There were some great moments for Connor, especially the scenes when he's listening to his mother's old recordings and wondering if he really knew his enemy as well has he thinks he does.

John Connor doesn't become the "savior" for this movie because it's the first movie in a "planned" trilogy. I put the emphasis on "planned" because, after watching this movie, there doesn't seem to be much of a plan. Many of us following the new Batman series knew Christopher Nolan was planning a sequel for Batman involving Joker and Two-Face and it was set-up very well at the end of the first film. This film has no such plans. We're not left with anything to look forward to except more fights and more war.

The female supporting cast just don't do a whole lot. Dallas Bryce Howard plays Connor's wife and she doesn't really do anything... at all. Blair Williams' relationship with Marcus seems very rushed. Oh, and Common... what the hell was the point of him? It's hard to see a trilogy since only a few characters were actually given something to do. Again, look at past planned trilogies, every character has some sort of task or arc, there was a whole lot of nothing going on with these characters.

One of the main reasons I'm such a fan of the Terminator saga is the screwed up family stuff. John Connor meets his own father when his father is only a teenager. He will train him to fight and eventually have to send him back in time to protect his mother, conceive him while knowing that he will die in the process. The Sarah Connor Chronicles put a great emphasis on how John always wanted to meet his father Kyle, it's one of the things that show did incredibly well.

When John finally meets Kyle, it's underwhelming to say the least. I would expect John to see him, pause and think "Holy shit... that's my father... after all of these years, he's right here in front of me." It's basically "Hey, Terminators are everywhere, let's blow this joint." It also happens so late in the film, there wasn't much time to show anything else. This was quite disheartening for myself.

There's a ton of fan service in the film. We get famous lines such as "Come with me if you want to live" and, of course "I'll be back." At times, it seemed to be a bit too much, but I can't deny getting a smirk on my face when Guns N Roses "You Could Be Mine" was playing as Connor was setting up a trap for a machine.

The first film was about saving Sarah Connor, the second film as about saving John Connor and this film was about saving Kyle Reese. But, for no reason at all, the machines know that Reese is the father of Connor. I have a problem with this since not even Reese knows he's his father. There are some other many "questionable" actions from Skynet as well, but I don't want to spoil the film.

I loved the look of the film. It does sort of remind me of the flashbacks of the first entries. Sure, they don't look too much alike, but this movie is set 11 years before those scenes. The PG-13 was a bit of a drag, but I didn't feel cheated at all. Here's hoping for the director's cut on Blu-ray.

This film had no chance competing with the first two films, but it is a very good companion piece. It's a fast-moving, action extravaganza, but there are some major problems story-wise and the ending seems like a rush-job. As a Terminator fan, I thought it was pretty damn good for what it was, but it could have been so much better.

Overall Grade:
B-

The Good: It's a Terminator war movie, Sam Worthington as Marcus, Anton Yelchin as Reese, superb action sequences, fantastic fan-service, awesome secret cameo towards the end.

The Bad: Plotholes everywhere, missed opportunity with Connor/Reese, going a bit overboard with fan-service, planned trilogy isn't planned very well, Connor noticeably "tacked-on" the the final script.

The Ugly: Helena Bonham Carter with cancer... and tasting like death. Ewww.

'Crank: High Voltage' proceeds to melt my eyes out of my skull... again!

Crank: High Voltage (2009)

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Crank is the best straight-up action film of this decade. Some might agree, some might disagree, but that film reminded of everything great I remebered about the action films from the 80's. For me personally, Statham ranks up there with Schwarzenegger, Stallone and Van Damme. He'll even be in the upcoming, action-star ensemble cast The Expendables.

When I first heard of a sequel, I was sort of shocked. His character (apparently) died at the end of the first film. Then I remembered; this world is almost like a video game. What do you get in video games? Multiple lives! When I finally saw the trailer, I was stoked. The same team, the same cast, nothing could go wrong. I was just wondering if they could keep up with the fanatic pace of the first film.


Chev Chelios has his now indestructible heart taken from him and replaced with an AbiCor Artificial heart (which is apparently a real device.) He cracks some skulls and goes on yet another journey to get his "strawberry tart" back before his electric heart runs out of juice.

I have to admit, I had a little bit of doubt that they could deliver on such a great film, but they proved that little part of me wrong. Not only did they keep up with the frantic pace of the first film, but they even amped it up. Everything that was completely ridiculous in the first film happens constantly in this, and it totally works.

Not only is it action-packed, but it made me laugh my ass off. Bai Ling as a prostitute that speaks horrible English and Efren Ramirez who's the twin bother of his murdered character from the first film and happens to have FBT (Full Body Turrets) are especially hilarious. There's much laughter to come from this unless you are easily offended.

It was exciting to see some of the casting choices, especially Clifton Collins, Jr. who I've been a fan since One-Eight-Seven. Seeing Corey Haim in an atomic mullet was worth the price of admission alone. There are even some cameos I didn't realize until after I left the theater such as Lauren Holly as a therapist and Ginger Spice as Mother Chelios. Unfortunately, some of these roles were quite limited. I wouldn't have minded to see a bit more of Haim and Collin's characters, especially Collins since he is the main villain of the film.

When I first saw Crank, I was fully expecting it to suck. I hate the Transporter movies and, from what I got from advertisements, that's exactly what I was going to get. It really took me by surprise. Obviously, Crank: High Voltage wasn't going to take me surprise again, but it did tend to be a bit more unfocused than the first film... if you can even say the first film was just a tad focused. The last act took me by surprised, hell, I didn't even know they were setting up the end of the film.

I can say that Crank: High Voltage has balls. Especially with the way it ended (stay through the credits though, they easily set up a third film.) If you "got" the first film, I can easily recommend the sequel. It's just unpredictable and much crazier than the original.

Overall, Crank: High Voltage is one hell of a visceral ride. Probably the most enjoyable film I've seen this year. Unfortunately, it's doing poorly at the Box Office which makes me doubt a proper sequel and maybe creating the effect of producing less R-rated action films since crap like Fast and Furious are making huge bank. But who knows, it might kick-ass in video sales. Fans of Crank can also looking forward to the upcoming Scott Pilgrim vs. the World which will quite literally take place in a video-game world.

Overall Grade:
A-

The Good: Fast pace, R-rated action like the old days again, lives up to the original, funny as hell.

The Bad: Even more unfocused, talented/interesting cast not utilized enough.

The Ugly: A lubed up shotgun...

'Watchmen' blows Wes' mind... then molecularly reconstructs it!

Watchmen (2009)

I'm a reader of comic books since I was a kid, but it wasn't until about 7 or 8 years ago that I actually sat down and read Watchmen for a graphic novel class. I didn't know what I was going to get into to, but I was hooked after the first chapter.

The story takes place in an alternate 1985 in which super-heros are real. Nixon, in his third term, has outlawed them. The Cold War with the Russians has everyone on edge over the seemingly inevitable nuclear holocaust. The ex-masked hero, The Comedian, is murdered. Fellow masked avenger Rorschach, a neo-conservative nutjob, think there's much more to it. Maybe someone's attempting to take out all of the heroes so they can't stop the end of the world.

Meanwhile, the superhuman Dr. Manhattan struggles to understand human nature as he becomes complete disconnected from the rest of the world. Other ex-team members, Night Owl and Silk Spectre are reminense on the "good 'ol days." All of their lives intertwine in this mystery that could lead to the end of mankind.

I haven't read the graphic novel for a couple of years and purposely stayed away from it before watching the film. I know some changes had to be made since it's a retelling in a different medium and I welcomed it. I didn't go into biased as I am a fan of Zack Snyder's work (300 and Dawn of the Dead remake) and I don't believe anythings "unfilmable."

A lot is missing from the graphic novel obviously (the Watchmen Motion Comic clocks in at 6 hours) most notably The Black Freighter segments which is set for release later this month as a seperate animated movie.

So what I'd think of it?

I really, really liked it. I thought adaption was fantastic. Jackie Earle Haley (Little Children) was the perfect choice for Rorschach and he is portrayed exactly how I imagined him. Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Grey's Anatomy) as Eddie Blake A.K.A. The Comedian was also very good. Everyone was great for the exception of Malin Akerman who was by far the weakest link in the cast.

I'm interested in how many parents this film pissed off. I'm fully aware of parents in the world that have no clue what a rating system is; movies or videogames. Why have so many 7 year-olds played the Grand Theft Auto series? Watchmen contains a "thrusting" sex scene and some very graphic violence (there's nothing like Dr. Manhattan splattering a gangster leaving only their guts and skeletal remains hanging from the ceiling.)

Yes, the movie has a "new" ending. It's pretty much the same as the graphic novel with only a slight change which I didn't mind at all. In fact, I thought it worked much better in the film than the original ending would have. I have no idea why anyone would have a problem with it unless they are just competely narrow-minded.

It's quite an experience. It's the single most overwhelming film experience I've ever had. Not just the visuals, but the entire logic behind it. That's how I felt the first time I read the graphic novel. I need to watch it a few more times for it to really sink in.

It's a very deep, complex film just as the graphic novel is. It may not be what a lot of people expect (I call it the Gone, Baby, Gone of comic book films.) I only had problems with some of the acting and odd musical choices, but as an adaption or a stand-alone films, it's fantastic. I can't wait to see the director's cut.

Overall Grade:

A

The Good: Fantastic adaption, one of the best comic books films, amazing visuals, Jackie Earle Haley as Rorshach.

The Bad: Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre, odd musical choices, fanboys in general.

The Ugly: Blue penis... actually, all the reviewers who mention blue penis. It's shocking the number of people who are immature or just flat-out insecure. According to reviews, it's 5 foot long and swinging around like a propeller. It's not that noticeable, but if it bothers you: grow the fuck up.

'Friday the 13th' 2009 - Jason the maniac killer... and weed farmer...

Friday the 13th (2009)

What can I say? I couldn't resist not watching a new Friday the 13th movie on Friday the 13th. I don't necessarily hold the original series up on a pedestal (besides, I'm more of a Freddy guy.) The original movies... just weren't that good. Sure, they're memorable, but nothing remarkable. Just guilty pleasures I'd enjoy on a lazy day.

In my opinion, this remake/reboot wasn't treading on any sacred ground.

The first part of the film can be easily broken down. The first segment is from the first Friday the 13th as Jason's mother is decapitated. The scenes following is basically a remake of Part 2 with Jason sporting a burlap sack. The rest of the film are sporadic inspirations from the rest of the original series.

So the concept was simple: take the best parts of what made the original series memorable and mash them up. Almost like a Jason's Greatest Hits album... and it actually kind of works.

The opening scenes after the main credits (i.e. Part 2 "remake") was my favorite part of the film. Not only does it involve one of the most brutal deaths of the film (yes, it involves a sleeping bag) but it's pretty intense. There's nothing like seeing Jason SPRINT with a machete in the air.

Derek Mears is the most intense Jason. It's weird since I had the pleasure of meeting him last August and he was an extremely cheerful guy, yet he turns on a switch and becomes the most aggressive Jason incarnations. Jared Padalecki was very fitting in his role as a man looking for his sister who disappeared during a visit Crystal Lake Camp.

The direction, in my opinion, was surprisingly good since I hated Marcus Nispel's Pathfinder and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The writing held it's own as well. I appreciated all of the nods to the fans of the original series, also much of the film's humor was actually pretty funny.

This is just horror fluff. There's not much to gripe about considering this is pretty much what I expected if this movie turned out to be decent. All of my criticisms stem from the original series: the characters are not characters, just murder fodder. Also, after the midpoint of the film it starts to become a little redundant, especially with Jason popping out behind victims three times in a row.

Overall, it's worth a watch if you even remotely enjoyed the original series. If the originals weren't your cup of tea, then stay far, far away.

The Good: Jason taken seriously again and much more intense this time around. Oh, and BEWBS!

The Bad: A bit redundant after a while, not many unique death scenes.

The Ugly: The first pair of breasts that pop-up look like they were carved out of wood. A tad freaky looking.

Overall Grade:
C+

Wes' Top 15 Films of 2008!

It’s been quite a year in movies. My most anticipated film of the decade finally came out and a few surprises all around. The year was so solid that I had to make a top 15 list, because there were so many films I wanted to list.

Honorable Mentions:

Frost/Nixon
I saw this and found it to be very good, but it felt a little un-even to me. I found it difficult for most of the picture to pull for Frost since the film was more focused on Nixon who is supposed to be the antagonist. He was struggling to get funding as the more interesting characters took care of the information they dug up on Nixon.

Mongol
The story of the rise of Genghis Khan was a fascinating look into his life, but it was a very exhausting, if not a bit redundant, film. Still, a great film and it would probably find a spot in my Top 20.

Two more films I really wanted to see, but have not had the opportunity are The Reader and Doubt. They seem like genuinely great films and I can’t wait to see them. Whenever I see them I might edit my Top 15 or change it into a Top 20.

#15



CJ7

A family film from director Stephen Chow (Kung-Fu Hustle, Shoaling Soccer) is a great family film. It’s very imaginative and also very tragic. It’s unlike any children’s film I’ve seen in years.

14



The Bank Job

A great heist film based on the true story of Baker Street Robbery in central London. They are sent to steal very important people’s “dirty little secrets” and have very dangerous people on their tail. An exciting, yet interesting film.

13



Inside (À l'intérieur)

One of the most disturbing horror films I’ve ever seen. A pregnant woman who loses her husband in a car accident has become a target for a psychopathic female who wants to take her baby out of her. Trapped in the bathroom in her home, the intruder kills anyone who tries to help her.

The power of this film is the cinemaphotography, the music and the pacing. There is quite a bit of gore, but it takes a backseat with how well-crafted this film is. Much of it, especially in the beginning of the film, seems inspired by John Carpenter’s Halloween. In fact, the directing duo were set to make Halloween 2 (sequel to the remake,) unfortunately Rob Zombie stepped back on board for the project.

Eli Roth should take notes, this is how you disturb your audience to the core.

12



Cloverfield

The Blair Witch style film making wasn’t just a gimmick. Cloverfield was a truly exciting experience which is almost comparable to a theme park ride. It was the first 2008 film I watched and it still managed to make it to my top 15.

11




Speed Racer

I personally feel that this was the most misunderstood film of the year. Most of the criticisms don’t make any sense to me. It’s based off of an anime series for crying out loud! The film is visually STUNNING (especially on Blu-ray,) the story was surprisingly great and casting was spot-on. It’s a shame that this failed at the box office, I would’ve really looked forward to a sequel.

10



Eden Lake

One of the most realistic and disturbing horror films I’ve seen in a few years. A couple go out on a trip to Eden Lake and are harassed by a group of delinquent teenagers. Things escalate to the point that the couple start running for their lives.

The film can be quite brutal, but it also has a disturbing message that rings true. The ending will stay with you long after the credits roll.

9



The Good, the Bad, the Weird

In 1930’s Manchuria, a good guy, a bad guy and… a weird guy fight each other over a treasure map. As the chase goes on, the Japanese army and Manchurian bandits join the fray resulting in an explosive finale.

This film has everything you want: action, comedy and bad-assery. This is one of the most enjoyable films I’ve seen this year. It’s plays homage to the old-style westerns while adding a neo-western vibe. The modern soundtrack is fantastic.

I hope this film is released stateside very, very soon.

8



Milk

So a Gus Van Sant film is in my top 10... I’m shocked. I usually hate Van Sant’s films since they are most pretentious crap ever put on celluloid. I kept forgetting that he directed Milk while watching it.

The story itself is an interesting look at an important figure and Sean Penn completely immerses himself into the character. This might very well be his best performance ever. That’s not taking anything away from the incredible supporting cast such as Josh Brolin, James Franco, and Emile Hirsch.

7



The Fall

Director Tarsem Singh, mostly known for his visually impressive but underwhelming film The Cell, finally made a film that’s as deep as it is gorgeous. In the 1920’s a paralyzed stuntman befriends a little girl and begins to tell her a story of 5 mythical heroes. Thanks to his fractured mind and her vivid imagination, the line between reality and fiction begin to blur as the story advances.

I’m not sure if this should be 2007 or 2008, but I’ll go with ‘08 since it was just released this past fall in the States. The imagination of a little girl and the dark reality of the world collide in a tragic, yet inspiring film. I might have already said that Speed Racer was one of the most visually impressive films, but this tops it. It’s simply a masterpiece.

6



Tropic Thunder

After seeing the red-band trailer I knew this film was going to be special. Ben Stiller shows that he has talent as a director as some of the scenes impressively shot. Robert Downey, Jr. has arguably one of the best performances of the year, it made Tom Cruise cool again, it was constantly funny throughout and the entire film was a big F--- YOU to Hollywood and what’s not the love about that?

5



The Wrestler

I’ve been a fan of wrestling sporadically throughout my life. Hell, a couple of years back I was watching it casually, but after the Benoit tragedy I was turned off from ever watching it again. Some of what disgusts me about wrestling is the extremely messed-up way the company(s) treat their talent.

This is a movie I’ve been waiting to come out for quite some time. Rourke gives the performance of the year (close to Penn) and Aronofsky’s subtle direction throughout gives this film a lot of weight.

4



In Bruges

A film released earlier in the year which I hope isn’t forgotten come awards time. It’s a perfect mix of dark comedy, crime action, and tragedy. I haven’t seen characters, violence and humor mixed as well as this since Pulp Fiction. Farrell, Gleeson and Fiennes all give extraordinary performances that play well off of each other.

3

Wall-E

How do you make a “post-apocalyptic” film for kids… well, Pixar pulled it off. Wall-E is not just a family movie, it’s a science fiction epic… it may very well be the science fiction film of the decade (still waiting on James Cameron’s Avatar though.) I haven’t been impressed this impressed with their movies since The Incredibles.

It’s incredible that a film with such little dialogue can keep kid’s attention. It shows how silent films were entering back in the day. Wall-E is like two films wrapped in one and it’s got this epic feel to it as well.

2



Slumdog Millionaire

A great fairly tale of a movie that took me by surprise. The story between the two brothers is extremely compelling as they go through highs and lows together. The love story is the main thrust of the film and it’s the best romance aspect of any film this year. Some scenes will have you sitting at the edge of your seat as Danny Boyle masterfully creates tension, but there is also plenty of tragedy and happiness. Definitely the feel good movie of the year.

1



The Dark Knight

Surprise, surprise. I was actually worried going into the fall that maybe I’d like another film more than the latest Batman film. It almost happened, but I keep remembering how great The Dark Knight was. My expectations were staggering and it STILL blew me away.

Several things amaze me about this film. The acting, the story and the faithfulness to the original source. But almost all of the effects and action pieces are done with practical effects and a very minimal use of CGI wizardy. This proves Nolan is an extremely classy director and among the best ever.

Although I have a deep love for Batman (in a very plutonic way) and the film is everything I could ask for as a Bat-fan, but it also takes the entire superhero genre and turns it on it’s head. This is the film people will measure comic book based films for years, perhaps even decades, to come.

The Oscar nominations will be announced in a few short hours as I type this, but I’m pretty positive The Dark Knight will get a Best Picture nod. How crazy is that? Who would’ve thought ten years ago, after the abomination that is Batman & Robin, that a Batman film would get a BP nod?

'The Dark Knight' sequel rumors - Wes' craptastic thoughts

The Dark Knight was just as spectacular as everyone thought, breaking records at every turn and becoming the most groundbreaking superhero film ever.

Now what?

Am I the only one who isn't really looking forward to a sequel to the biggest blockbuster of the decade? Sure, I was hyped as hell for The Dark Knight immediately after seeing Batman Begins in the theater. The ending to Batman Begins was incredibly intriguing, mostly due to Joker being introduced.

The Dark Knight obviously blew Batman Begins away, but at the end the story felt... complete. We got the perfect Joker, Dent's arc was incredible and everything else was absolutely groundbreaking.

I'm not saying we shouldn't get a sequel, it will happen no matter what, but why all the speculation so soon and why is everyone buying into it? I guess it's true that us Americans have incredibly short attention spans and cannot appreciate a film for what it is after it's released rather we want to see if and how they will top it (which it isn't even certain that Nolan(s) will return.)

Another reason I don't see why everyone is so excited is because if these reports are true then producers are obviously pushing for the sequel far too soon. "Sources" say that producers are screaming "PENGUIN, RIDDLER, CATWOMAN - HOFFMAN, DEPP, JOLIE!" although Nolan has stated publicly that he has no interest in Penguin and Goyer has denied Catwoman, but teases at Riddler. If this is true it's terrible news because this will just keep Nolan from returning rather than encourage him. One of the reasons The Dark Knight was so hyped (atleast for myself) was the "unique" casting of Ledger, never before have we seen him play a role like this. The new casting rumors are just boring.

Now, here is my opinion on what a sequel should or most likely consist of.

The most obvious and likely choice for a villain for the next film will be Riddler. When a lot of people think of Riddler they think of Frank Gorshin or Jim Carrey and people would mistake Riddler for being too much like Joker. The truth is Riddler isn't really anything like Joker. Joker is obviously sociopathic but Riddler is just damaged. Also, Nolan bases his Batman characters from the works of Joseph Loeb and Loeb is known to portray Riddler as a small, intelligent yet cowardly crook (Batman: Hush is the only exception.) I would suspect Riddler being a Zodiac-type serial killer on the loose in Gotham, but there has been other ideas floating around as an investigator who is hired to capture Batman since he is on the run as a fugitive at the end of The Dark Knight. Both of very worthy ideas.

My personal pick to play Riddler is...

Jeremy Davies!

Jeremy Davies is an incredibly talented yet under-rated actor. He was recently seen in Rescue Dawn (which starred Christian Bale.) I also like Nolan's taste in actors and feel that Davies would fit very well into the Nolan world of Batman. Davies just seems like the best choice.

My personal secondary villian would be Black Mask. He is much like Bruce Wayne... only if Wayne would a messed up evil gangster. He was supposedly in the first draft of The Dark Knight so I would bet that he will make an appearance in the next film.

My personal pick for Black Mask would be...

Guy Pearce!

I like this pick most because Pearce isn't in nearly enough films (one of his latest, The Proposition is phenomenal,) he's worked with Nolan in the past (Memento,) and he's a great actor to take on Bale. It may be a long shot but it's just a dream pick. And he's got a skull-like face to fit into that Black Mask...

What about those Penguin rumors... pretty ridiculous in my opinion. Hoffman as the Penguin is a bit dumb as Nolan has stated he'd be more excited having Hoffman in the film rather than having Penguin as a character. But I'll give my opinion who should play one of the most uninteresting Batman villains...

Toby Jones!

I think this is the most interesting take on a boring character. I could see him being a character much like Bruce Wayne only very jealous of him because of his deformity. I don't see this happening... not as long as Nolan is writing and directing.

Catwoman would be a very difficult character to portray on screen. She's a woman in a cat costume that steals stuff. Since she and Black Mask have had a past in the comic books I could see it maybe happening, but not likely. Angelina Jolie is probably the lamest most boring pick. I don't get Jolie in action films because her arms are as thin as some of those Ethiopian kids.

My picks for Catwoman are...

Rhona Mitra!

Best known for her roles in Nip/Tuck and Doomsday I feel she is a great choice as the woman in the leather outfit. Not only does she look extremely physiqually fit (not anorexic) and she has an incredible amount of sex appeal. So far she is my favorite choice, but plenty of women could fit the role such as my other favorite picks...

Emily Blunt!

and...

Carla Gugino!

There are also other villains such as Mr. Freeze, Clayface and Poison Ivy that won't see the light-of-day in Nolan's Batman films, but I won't waste my time with anymore of my comic book/movie geekery. Again, just my opinion for some perfect casting choices in the upcoming films even though The Dark Knight will keep me satisfied for however long the sequel takes.

'Lost Boys: The Tribe' is a suck-monkey!

Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)

Director
P.J. Pesce

Writer
Hans Rodionoff

Cast
Tad Hilgenbrink, Angus Sutherland and Corey Feldman

I hold Lost Boys in very high regard even though it was helm by the same man who ruined the Batman franchise back in the late 90's, Joel Schumacher. It's one of those films I loved as a kid and it still holds up very well today. The performances were great, the cheesy 80's style gives it a fantastic nostalgic feel, the comedic elements worked well and the characters were compelling (c'mon, tweeners fighting vampires is awesome!)

I'll get this out of the way right now: my hopes weren't very high before watching this, but my hope raised a bit after during the opening scene. It was shot decent enough, the dialogue wasn't bad and the gore was adequate in amount and look. It just had the typical yet expected generic score and editing, but if a story is presented well enough it just doesn't matter.

After about 10-minutes after the opening scene it occurred to me that the film-makers gave up after that. The dialogue was so bad I was kind of squirming in my seat, not only that but the acting is atrocious! Did they just hire a bunch of young CW-rejects?

It's obvious that they are catering to the unmotivated and douchebagginess of The Real World audience. You know, the people who hump each other in hot tubs and have no other interest in discussing anything but their social lives? Yea, those people will probably love this shit. The vampire leader can't hold Keifer Sutherland's huge vampire mullet. He stumbles around with shades like a Jim Morrison wanna-be and mumbles in the same tone throughout. He's unmotivated... and that's like... cool 'n stuff. Instead of having a vampire group that look a little creepy or even intimidating, we have a bunch of douches who "punk'd" each other by impaling or disemboweling one another. Lame.

There are a few good things that are winks to fans of the original film. We get treated to a shirtless overweight guy with chains on his neck playing a saxophone. (Yea, some of you know who I'm talking about.) I also rather enjoyed Corey Feldman who seems to not have aged that much since the first film. He has a few good lines and is probably the only entertaining aspect of the dreck. It's too bad that they couldn't revolve story around him rather than some boring, cliched brother and sister.

On a similar not they are releasing a prequel to his film in the form of a comic book which will easily surpass the quality of this garbage.

Oh, and the main characters? Who cares? We get some sort of lame backstory and is pretty much the same set-up from the first film only not good. You have to love it when the brother is banging some vampire slut in a shower whom he met only minutes earlier before scolding his sister for going on a motorcycle ride with a guy he knew. I wonder if The Real World teaches that same lesson in double-standards to our current generation of bright young people.

Lost Boys: The Tribe is a rushed, shit-stained mess. It's mind-blowing to learn that Schumacher has been wanting to do a sequel for two decades, was turned down and WB decides to release this turd. As I said at the beginning, I wasn't looking for it to be great but maybe entertaining. This was an utter snore-fest. Unless you are a hardcore (I mean hardcore as in a having a tattoo of the "Two Coreys" on each ass cheek) Lost Boys fan, skip this. Now I need to watch Lost Boys again to hopefully swipe my memory clean from this childhood rape-age.

I'll add after the first part of the credits rolled a scene takes place that shows how they could've done a potentially cool sequel, but it feels like being flipped the bird by the creators. Thanks, jerk-offs.

2.0/10